This morning I found a nice thing to chew up.  It was on the table by the sofa.  It didn't have much of a smell but that was okay because I really wanted to chew something.  I carried it outside and tasted it.  It was kind of crisp on the outside but soft on the inside.  Not much taste but it was really fun to chew!  This was something I wanted to get comfy with.  I carried it into the bedroom and got on the bed with the Soft Voice.  The Big Guy was already up, doing stuff in the bathroom.  The Soft Voice was just lying there not saying anything.  So I settled down and started to chew my new thing.
     Then the Big Guy came in and yelled at me!  He never hits me but he gets real loud when he yells and I get scared.  And I hate to hear that word, "No."  Then the Soft Voice sat up and said, "She's shaking!"  The Big Guy came over and petted me and said, "Well, you know I love you but you can't have this box of Kleenexes."  And he took away my chewy thing.  That's okay, I will find something else to chew.
     When the Big Guy came home for lunch I was afraid he would still be mad.  I used my "sore foot" trick to make him not be mad.
     A long time ago I got a hurt foot and when I would hold it up, everyone would pet me and talk to me in a nice voice.  Then if the Big Guy or the Soft Voice got mad at me, I could hold up my foot and they would say, "Oh, her foot still hurts," and they would pet me and be nice.  So now if they get mad at me, all I have to do is hold up my foot and they will be nice.  It is a really useful thing to know.  They will say, "Look, she still thinks she can run that old scam," and they will laugh and pet me.  It is the best trick I know.
     The Big Guy wasn't mad at me at lunch time.  He said I was cute.  I wanted to go for a walk but he just lay down on the sofa instead.  So I played with the Other Dog.  The Other Dog is an old stick in the mud, he doesn't like to play but that makes it fun.  Sometimes I just show him how much I love him by licking the inside of his lips over and over and over again until he gets up and leaves the room.  It is a good way to get him to move if he is in my way.  If the Other Dog is not in the room, I can get all the petting that he would get.
     Before dinner time we ran up and down the fence and barked at the dogs next door.  We did that because the Big Guy and the Soft Voice were in the corral, doing stuff with the horses.  We like to chase the horses and eat the horse poop but they never let us in the corral.  So we run and bark at the dogs next door.  We make a lot of noise so the Big Guy and the Soft Voice will not forget we are there.  We need to let them know we have not had our dinner yet.
     They used to give us our dinner before they went into the corral.  That was good because the Other Dog would go out and bark at the horses and I would eat his dinner and mine too.  But now we get our dinner after.
     The dogs next door are my brothers, Wrinkles and Fred.  I used to live next door too.  But that is another story.  I like to see Wrinkles and Fred, but the Other Dog barks at them so I bark too, because he is my pack.  I am the pack leader.  I had one more dog in my pack but he went away.  I still miss him.  That is another story, too.

Come back in a few days for another episode of the Adventures of Imogene!

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